It has been a few years since I posted the original paper on this site. Since then I have been working on developing my research into a live presentation. Though it has been decades since the abuse occurred, I still live with it each day. Much like the Force, the effects of the abuse sometimes influence me to feel hatred, anger, fear, and aggression. There has been an awakening in me for some time – I have known that there is much more work to be done. I really feel that my story may help others dealing with the resonance of abuse and acceptance.
Recently I applied to the Canada Council in hopes that I would be granted funding to develop my story. I was angered when they rejected my application. Momentarily I felt like I wanted to give up – just throw away the research and the development I have been working towards with the help of my colleagues Ken, Valerie and Jerry. It was a fleeting moment of despair and anguish. I am slowly picking myself back up and will be working towards other funding means. I will be working towards private funding and hopefully I will be able to continue to move forwards towards production.
In short, I don’t want to give up. I want to continue to share and to inspire others. I don’t want to silence my past as some others would like me to do. I want to move forward with the courage of the Jedi – and, so help me, I will see this through.